“In the First Age” — Silmarillion Parody Song of “Last Friday Night”

 

“In the First Age” — A parody of Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night”

(Mostly about the Years of the Sun in Middle Earth)


NOLDOR: We were chill in Valinor  (Manwë in the background: Oh really?)

But the two Trees are no more

Morgoth stole the Silmarils

And King Finwë, he was killed

FËANOR: Everyone, let’s start a fight!

FINARFIN: That kinslaying wasn’t right

FINGOLFIN: You mean that we attacked them first?

MANDOS: If you leave now, you’ll be cursed 


TURGON: Fëanor just burnt the Teleri’s ships; we’re doomed!

AREDHEL: We know

FINGOLFIN: Let’s march through the ice, so that we can fight them too

ARGON: Ugh!


ALL: In the First Age!

FINGON: Yeah, we sang loudly in Angband

MAEDHROS: Let’s defend Beleriand!

FINGOLFIN: Have a feast throughout the land

ALL: In the First Age!

TURGON: We’re gonna explore and expand

ANGROD: I think Quenya just got banned (Caranthir: *side eye*)

ALL: Against Morgoth we shall stand!

In the First Age!

FINROD: We were joined by the Edain 

BËOR and HADOR: In the battle we will shine! 

Loyalty in both our lines 

ALL: In the First Age!

The Battle of Sudden Flame?

Yeah outcome was a shame

(But Morgoth looked super lame!)

ALL: In the First Age!

GALADRIEL: Let’s not do that again

In the Second Age

Let’s not do that again

In the Second Age 


THINGOL: In Doriath Luthien will stay

Tell Beren to go away

MELIAN: Think he accepted the quest

You shouldn’t say such things in jest

BEREN: King Finrod will help me out

Of his promise there’s no doubt

CELEGORM and CURUFIN: Come with us, fair Lúthien!

LUTHIEN: Who are these two hooligans? 


GWINDOR: That was not an Orc, that was Beleg, your best friend!

TURIN: Oh no!

ORODRETH: Followed Turin’s plan to expose our lands; we’re dead!

TURIN: Not again


ALL: In the First Age!

FINROD: Yeah, we fought monsters while unarmed

LUTHIEN: Now even Sauron is alarmed

BEREN: Luthien, how are you unharmed?

ALL: In the First Age!

LUTHIEN: Yeah, I danced in Morgoth’s halls

BEREN: Took the gem when he did fall

LUTHIEN: But Beren’s hand Carcharoth mauled

ALL: In the First Age!

EÄRENDIL: Brought the gem to the Valar

They forgave the doomed Eldar

ELWING: Now he holds it like a star

ALL: In the First Age!

GIL-GALAD: The War of Wrath was a success 

ELROND: Yeah, the Valar are the best

GALADRIEL: Do you think we passed the test? (Celebrimbor: Huh?)

ALL: In the First Age!


GALADRIEL: Let’s not do that again

In the Second Age

Let’s not do that again

In the Second Age


[music stops]

GIL-GALAD: Um, I think Sauron might be back. 

GALADRIEL: … *facepalm*

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