The Quendi

 “We Don’t Talk About Namo” — Silmarillion parody of Disney’s “We Don’t talk about Bruno” *Following the original song’s themes of misunderstanding and gossip vs. reality, certain points of the parody are exaggerated, false (pointed out), or relate very little to Mandos/Namo himself.* FËANOR: We don’t talk about Namo, no, no, no We don’t talk about Namo, but It was my wedding day  NERDANEL: It was our wedding day FËANOR: We were getting ready And Nolofinwë was nowhere in sight NERDANEL: I don’t think that is quite right FËANOR: Namo walks in with an ominous grin NERDANEL: Yeah sure FËANOR: I think I’d remember what happened! NERDANEL: Oh of course , my dear, go on FËANOR: Namo says, "Your brother’s there" NERDANEL: Could’ve told us sooner FËANOR: Nolvo lost the rings without a care! NERDANEL: Mahtan, get the forge hammers! FËANOR: Smith aprons are not wedding-wear!  NERDANEL: *laughing* not fully true, but anywho FËANOR and NERDANEL: We don't talk about Namo, no, no...

 Rings of Power Season 3 is scheduled to come out the end of 2026…use these prediction bingo boards to play along!

 If there was a Lord of the Rings Yearbook, what characters would win which superlatives? 

  “Valinor” — An Unfinished Tales and Silmarillion parody of Madonna’s “La Isla Bonita” from Galadriel’s perspective Nai hiruvalyë Valimar Last night I dreamt of Valinor Though many years I’m gone, I know the song A young girl with eyes like the starlight It all seems like yesterday, not far away Timeless lands across the sea All of nature pure and clean This is where I long to be Eldamar, Mélamar And while the harpists sang  The Trees would blend in light Ring through my ears and grace my eyes Your Quenya lullaby I fell in love in Alqualondë Cool foam blowing from the sea, he called to me Quentës nin: “Melin tyë” Through everything that came to pass, his love did last Timeless lands across the sea All of nature pure and clean This is where I long to be Eldamar, Mélamar And while the harpists sang  The Trees would blend in light Ring through my ears and grace my eyes Your Quenya lullaby I want to be where mountains meet the sky When it's time for the High Feast, you can w...

  “In the First Age” — A parody of Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” (Mostly about the Years of the Sun in Middle Earth) NOLDOR: We were chill in Valinor  (Manwë in the background: Oh really?) But the two Trees are no more Morgoth stole the Silmarils And King Finwë, he was killed FËANOR: Everyone, let’s start a fight! FINARFIN: That kinslaying wasn’t right FINGOLFIN: You mean that we attacked them first? MANDOS: If you leave now, you’ll be cursed  TURGON: Fëanor just burnt the Teleri’s ships; we’re doomed! AREDHEL: We know FINGOLFIN: Let’s march through the ice, so that we can fight them too ARGON: Ugh! ALL: In the First Age! FINGON: Yeah, we sang loudly in Angband MAEDHROS: Let’s defend Beleriand! FINGOLFIN: Have a feast throughout the land ALL: In the First Age! TURGON: We’re gonna explore and expand ANGROD: I think Quenya just got banned (Caranthir: *side eye*) ALL: Against Morgoth we shall stand! In the First Age! FINROD: We were joined by the Edain...

What would the Fellowship of the Ring be like if its members were from the First Age? Introducing the Fellowship of the Ring: Epic Edition *Warning: this post is purposely very silly 😁 Frodo and Sam —> Lúthien and Huan Luthien and Huan literally showed up at Sauron’s fortress during the height of his power, killed a bunch of orcs, werewolves, and vampires, tore down the walls, freed the prisoners, and last but not least BEAT-UP SAURON… all without any army or weapons.  Outside of her obvious qualifications, Luthien would make a fantastic ring-bearer, as she has a high resistance to evil. For instance, she came face to face with Morgoth and walked away completely unscathed and unmarred. Furthermore, everybody else would be too scared to take the ring from her. Even the son’s of Fëanor, who were under oath to take back the Silmarils, just decided to completely ignore the fact that she had one for like 70 years.  Like Sam is to Frodo, Huan is extremely loyal to Luthien. He ha...